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All Out of Chevies


I’m feeling confident, although I’m not a professional quack. Not sure if these are tennis shoes or sneakers, but I’m keeping it real. I don’t have a passion, but I’m so lucky, my doctor prescribed midnight skydiving, and a cold compress. I’m leaning into it now. Last weekend, right after my staycation in Vegas, I reversed my marriage. Had a feeling something just wasn’t right. Before she ran off with the Decatur chess team, Little Ms. Lonely Hearts used to call me EZ Money. No offense, she’d say, but you smell like a bug. Truth is, I owe my fortune to a medical misadventure. No, I healed-up just fine. I only rented the hearse, and painted a few bullet holes in driver’s-side door for camouflage. They were all out of Chevies.

Appears in Lucky Animals, 2023

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