I don’t know why you can smell rain and lightning coming on. Same as I don’t know why I married Crystal. Twice. Billy-Idol blonde, S curves smooth as hourglass sand, salt and pepper bob, she [...]
Yesterday, I was thinking about my deliverables. Thank God the machines know who we are. Ever since high school, I’ve not been very good at answering questions. Like Zeno’s arrow, I’m always [...]
I’m wearing my lucky pants. Everybody at the post office knows me. Yesterday, when I walking to the liquor store, I noticed somebody peeping through the blinds. I’ve been trying to trick myself [...]
Science has shown that you shouldn’t name your livestock if, one day, you intend to eat them. I bend easily to temptation, especially when I’m landlocked by the energy fields. Normally, I do all [...]
Decluttering my personal pronouns. If I had my way, I’d hammer the water back into the pipes, too, but that would be an uphill battle. Fortunately, I’m sworn to secrecy, so I sleep on knives to [...]
Wednesday, on the way to the carwash, my car caught fire. And not the good kind, either. Sheila came running up to me and said, Everything is getting worse and worse. I told her the main [...]
When trying out a new pen for the first time, 97% of people will write their own name, yet 1/3 of suicides don’t leave a note. Appears in Democracy of Secrets a chapbook from Right Hand [...]