That’s the fastest escalator I’ve ever ridden. I’m not afraid of heights. As long as they’re indoors. Looked through the plus-size department, but couldn’t find anything I liked. There’s a 7 billion dollar market in Halloween merchandise. That’s what the paper said. You’d think I could find something without horizontal stripes. Took the elevator down. I only go down in elevators, never up. I told Justine my luck really isn’t luck. It just looks that way. That’s why I keep my money in a paper bag. Looks like an old lunch. And those killer beeps. These days, they’re everywhere you go. No getting away from them. I’d wear earplugs, but I left them at church on Sunday. Pastor said we’ve all got a calling, but asked us to turn off our cell phones during the service. Said he didn’t think the Lord needed interruptions. He smiled when he said that. I turned mine to “vibrate” in case one of my kids got into an accident. Justine—she’s’ the prettiest darn thing—said she felt like playing poker after church. Some days you just feel it. We went to the Orleans and played a few hands. The place is clean. Mostly locals go there because the atmosphere is friendly. It’s low stakes. I didn’t trust the dealer, though. He looked like my parole officer. I think he was wearing a wig. I hate wigs on men. Of course, you can get used to almost anything, if you concentrate. Like those ventriloquists. They’re great concentrators. Hardly move their lips. And those dummies; it’s not easy with someone else’s words coming out of your mouth. Like that time in court. Sure, I knew I was an accomplice, but I didn’t plan the thing. I was just the driver. Didn’t even use a stolen car. Probably should have. Jack was the one that said there was a lot of money in there. Jack’s so smart. At least he thinks so. But what good did it do him? Got an even 20 for arson of an occupied structure. Thank goodness everybody got out. The place burned down in about a minute. Everybody got out. Everybody, but one. That’s what I call real luck.
Appeared in Camroc Press Review, September 16th, 2015